Somewhere In The Dark

I survive, anxious and fretful
Somewhere between sleep and waking
Stumbling in the dark
Trying to see what is not there
But hoping it is

There is no rest for me here
There is only that constant reaching out
A kind of futile searching

I could name my intended and be done with it
But that would only make the journey more painful
Only make the longing more intense
Admitting is as good as dying
A slow sweet agony

I know even in my deepest of selves
That there is peace in his arms
And I know that there is solace for him in mine
Yet he will not admit as much, even to himself
So I am left with his denial and my wanting

Somewhere between sleep and waking
Stumbling in the dark